April Fools: New Plan to Keep Tasmania From Drifting

In 40 years Tasmania will drift out of Australian waters

Editor's note: This story was written for April Fool's Day, which means the story is not true.

A recent study conducted by the Cabinet of Tasmanian and Australian Waters has revealed that Tasmania is drifting at an alarming rate. John Davidson lead researcher on the project and president of the cabinet predicts that the drift will happen sooner rather than later:

“In 20 years Tasmania will be double the distance it is now from the mainland, and in 40 it’ll be out to sea.”

The research comes after residents of Devonport reported that the mainland “seemed a bit further away than usual”. This observation was proved to be true after further investigation.

The drifting is said to be in part due to Tasmania’s placement on the Australasian tectonic plate and the constant shifting of sea levels. Davidson believes the shift is a result of climate change and how that’s prompted the rearranging of the plates.

“Drifting of this speed hasn’t been seen since the formation of Australia, it’s worrying. If the drifting continues as far as we expect it to, there could be an issue of ownership between Australia and New Zealand. ”

But Davidson and the cabinet of Tasmanian and Australian Waters are devising a plan to permanently attach Tasmania to mainland Australia.

“We’ve looked into giant magnets implanted into the lower rock surface of the island, there’s also been suggestions of giant, interlocking chain systems. But by far the most popular suggestion is underwater bridging.”

By bridging the two continents deep under the surface on the lower ocean floor, it’s guaranteed the roots of the island will stay intact with the mainland.

“We want to avoid as much international tension as possible.  Australia and New Zealand have a very special relationship and we’d like to keep it that way.”

Happy April Fools!

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